really can't or merely in denial?

yo ho mo fo. i am going crazy! i can't seem to bring myself to study. it's making me wonder whether i'm not cut out for it or i'm just in a state of denial. i think there's no such thing as "not cut out for studying". i can, i will, i must. today went back to school for extra math lesson. THREE HOURS OF MATH IS NO JOKE. seeing all the faces of classmates makes me worried and nervous. they all seem well prepared for the exam, me? i haven't finished a single subject. all the information i have are in bits and pieces. jm said that fear is putting faith in the wrong things, simply put it, sin. i guess i just have to place my trust in the Lord. only four more days. and just three days of papers. i can manage! (:

just now at close to 10PM, i asked my mum if we were going to celebrate su's (my helper) birthday. then i decided that we should get a cake since she is leaving on friday. so after making calls to my dad and sis to tell them about my plans, i decided to head down to the nearby bakery to get one. zhizhong helped to make sure that su did not go to bed yet, then he accompanied me over to the bakery. got a small cake. had a celebration. took pictures. but don't think i will be posting them because i look like a cheeze-ball. whatever that means.
*btw, zhizhong is my cousin currently staying at my house for the hols.

anw, i got this from kelly's blog. (thanks kelly!!)

"I feel like a fat cow.
No scratch that, more like I am a cow.
Time to attempt some crunches to ease off the guilt.
Oh ya. Must study. Must. Study.
Wait. I need brainfood while I study.
Perhaps there's no need to lay off the food after all..............................."

my sentiments exactly. but after completing my studyplan, i need to start working on my exercise plan. i don't want to become a L.o.L (lump of lard) haha that's sick.

ok, back to studying for me.
): ): ): ): ): ):